Who is a Mother ??

Is ‘motherhood’ only about gender ? Has ‘motherhood’ to do with giving birth either ? Can we really identify a person who gave birth only as a mother ?

Ustad Alauddin Khan,the famous musician,teacher,composer had two daughters. His younger daughter was a famous sitarist Annapurna Devi . He had another daughter,his elder daughter,who was a simple girl,did not study much and was his father’s favourite. She was married off at a young age. At her in-law’s house she was one day asked to cook beef . Alauddin said that though we re Muslims,we worshipped cows and didn’t eat beef. Jahanara,his elder daughter , requested her husband with folded hands not to force her to cook beef but her request went unheard and she was forced to cook beef. She did,but was so upset and felt so guilty that she left eating. And died. Alauddin writes, “ ...aar meyeta amar na kheye more gelo. “ (and my daughter died fasting). Simple words but in each word we can feel his grief,his loss,his feeling of guilt,his helplessness. Here, can we say that Alauddin was any less a mother ?? Was his loss any less than any mother’s ?? This piece was read to me by a male friend of mine. While reading this my friend had to take pause, control his tears to go through the whole piece. His reaction made me think , is his feeling any less than mine just because he is a man ?

I have a friend,whose mother unfortunately died at a very young age leaving behind her and her little brother. Her father at that time was at a complete loss...two little children,no one at home to look after them and his job where he had to travel extensively. Whenever he was away in his office tour he would call his children from 6am in the morning till they got up,instruct them to get dressed up,take their tiffin box,arrange their books,go to school. It was early 80’s ,  a time when cell phones didn’t exist and very few homes had telephones. Her father though away physically was always on the phone instructing and running his home , his heart and mind was always with his little kids. Here can he be called any less a mother ??

When a 4yr brother has to take over the role of a mother to his 2yr sister as they lost their parents due to natural calamity , or when we see a dog feeding young kittens as their mother cat died under a car...the question always arises does only giving birth make one a mother ??

                                                

My  son calls my mother “Maa” , something nobody taught him. When he learnt to speak,he one day suddenly addressed his grandmas “Maa”. His calling his grandma Maa was so natural and appropriate. It was my mother who literally brought him up, stayed awake at nights with him...and he has a different attachment with her,ofcourse more than he has with me . She is actually more of a mother to him than me . Only giving birth don’t make one a mother.

Motherhood is a feeling , it is an attachment , it is a responsibility , it is about selfless love , it is about loving someone more than oneself , it is about someone giving meaning to one’s life . Motherhood definitely has nothing to do with only giving birth or gender. 

" Shrabon's rain "

It is not because I chose today to start my new blog that I named it 'Shrabon's rain' considering the fact that it is a rainy day today in Kolkata. Sometimes natural depression makes you depressed and today is such a day no doubt.

I don't remember now from when my love for writing started. From my childhood I was a very dreamy and imaginative child , a very shy and also a bit timid , unsocial also...it always took me days to get comfortable with someone and open up. My only refuge  , books. I loved reading. I could read all night,all day. With a book in my hand I could spend days without feeling lonely. And then there was my imaginative world...my world. I guess every child has her/his imaginative world and a shy child carries her world with her for a long time until it starts co-existing with her. In my world I always had things according to my wishes naturally...I was either an actress sometime,or a journalist,or a pilot or also a simple girl in love. That world was mine. Then as days passed by I started putting my thoughts,my realisations , my feelings, my experiences in pen and paper and kept them to myself. Later I realised it is only through my writings I can be myself, my real self...if you can follow them and understand them, you almost know me ! I realised I only had one medium to express and let out my anger , my frustrations , my depressions , my sadness, also my happiness... my writings.

Social media with all its negativity brims with lot of positivity too. I got friends whom I never knew and they became a part of my life. They have encouraged and inspired me in various ways for which I will consider myself blessed forever. I started writing small pieces of my thoughts and people loved them , they said they could relate to them , they said I told their stories...their feelings. These words are such an inspiration only the person who writes can understand. Through social media I am lucky to make friends whom I have not met in real. One such friend ,  who is very encouraging and always urges me to start a blog like many others, suggested this name. He said 'Shraboni's rain' which I changed into 'Shrabon's' as for some unknown reason I always liked the name SHRABON. I thought the name(shraboni's rain)  is really very apt...like rain in this blog will pour down my thoughts .

Social media for me is also another world,where I don't belong, I don't exist but I am a viewer from outside. It is like a cinema, you know....you see but from outside. I have known many people through their writings,their opinions,their comments who don't know me. I have experienced their joy , sadness , anxiety without being a part of their life. Today , one such lady...who is not in my friendlist but a very dynamic personality, a very creative and lively person succumbed to her illness and left this world really early living behind a very young and loving family. Her death makes me feel as if I have lost someone whom I knew for a long tome... though I never met her,have never seen her live...it is strange how death can attach complete strangers ! Another reason for me to start my blog today.

In my writings I will write about my thoughts , about people who touch me in their unique way in my daily life , about my experiences . Even my fictions will be on people who exist in real life. I hope my readers will enjoy  my journey with me. Welcome to my world !